He loves me. He loves me not.
He loves me!
He really doesn’t know how big he is…curled right into a Rat Terriers bed.
Everything Beyonce does is careful and thought out. Her entire image is perfection crafted from planning ahead. She does not ‘wing it’ or throw things into her performances and public appearances ‘just because’.
What she did at this award show was amazing, especially because of how intentional and thought out it clearly was.
Feminism is a scary word for a lot of people. Many women are afraid of calling themselves feminist because they think it implies anger, hatred of men, or a rejection of traditional femininity.
Beyonce presented everyone watching with two distinct images of what many viewers viewed as two very different women. There is the strong, independent FEMINIST. She is the woman who likes being in control and being in the spotlight. Then there is the WIFE and MOTHER. She is soft, sweet, smiling at the husband and child you can tell she loves and values so much.
For every girl watching who was afraid to be a feminist, afraid to be powerful, because of what she thought she would lose, this is an incredible message. You can be all the things you want to be. You can be both. Feminists can have amazing happy, full lives full of both traditional and modern womanhood.
Feminism means gender should not be a source of persecution or a restriction of your choices. Feminism mean the type of person you should be is based on what you value, not what outside forces pressure you to value because of your gender or biological sex. Shout at the top of your lungs that you are a feminist and proud. Then go and be the exact person that you want to be.
Six years in my apartment, and things are slowly falling apart. Place needs to be repaired, terribly, and repainted. Ho hum.
Most recently, the large blinds in my bedroom collapsed on one of the hottest days in LA. With the sun allowed full access into my bedroom, I have a personal sauna daily. Hot hot hot!
I finally made it to Ross and purchased curtains and a rod. My goal was more weather block than design, along with price. And success!
Secured the nicest, gray’ish-blue thermo and noise blocking drapes set for $17. And the rod was simple, but cute, at $5.99. The finial is a simple glass jewel, that goes with any decor. And I was so pressed to get the side hooks too!
Besides the great deal, I’m most proud of the execution. I did it! And without the use of power tools. Nothing like good old fashioned focus and arm strength…and a tape measure and balance and chair and hammer and screwdriver and pencil. I think I did a great job. It’s cooler in here already!
Even Cooper got a new bed today thanks to Ross. Even though it’s a tad too short. He’s making it work!
He left Friday. Now it’s Monday. Time has passed. A lot has happened. But my heart has stood still.
Love can be cruel. So rewarding and wonderful and essential.
I miss him.
Those times when those they are supposed to protect us, are the whom we fear most. With another shooting in Missouri last week, the question is why we keep making excuses for police to “do their jobs,” which usually seem to end with death of a young man of color.
Officers, you are trained in self defense and more effective take down methds. You could shoot in the arm or leg, or even better, just taze them. Instead, we keep hearing of multiple gunshots. Multiple. If the victim wasn’t shooting first, that’s murder. Call it what you want.
On my way to the Hollywood Bowl, I stopped in a little pizza and pasta place for dinner to go. It was completely empty, except for the little cook in the back.
I greet him, he greets me back with a huge smile. In his very thick accent, he calls me “bee-yuet-ful.” I thanked him, and asked what was good on the menu.
Of course he doesn’t answer my question, as he smiles and sings a song in Spanish in a soft whispered voice. He interrupts himself to tell me how “bee-yuet-ful” my smile was, and how he likes women like me. Huh?
So I asked him what he meant by women like myself. ”You know baby. bee-yuet-ful, big, sexy black women.” Oh…okay, I thought to myself. I was confused but glad he cleared that up.
He continued raving about his ex that was black but moved to Chicago. How great she tasted and he’s wanted a black woman ever since she left. He couldn’t move with her because of the job at the pasta place. Really?
The conversation carries on for several minutes, and gets rather inappropriate in content. I tried to change the subject back to me placing an order for food, but he carried on. Telling me what he would do to and for me. And in that order.
Finally he asks if I have a man. At the time, I was wearing my grandmother’s calilily ring on my left hand ring finger, so I implied by showing the ring that I was more than taken, but completely off the market. I stretched the truth a little, and told him that I was meeting my guy at the Bowl that evening for a concert.
He seemed so sad for a moment. Then he told me my man was “a very lucky,” and he’ll be waiting if anything goes wrong because he knows how to handle a woman like me. Oh…okay pequeno hombre.
Promising to fix my order extra special and good for me, I ordered the chicken Alfredo pasta. It took awhile because he cooked it extra fresh - and I’m talking pouring the cream and adding the cheese to make the sauce fresh.
Once my order was ready, he packed it up with a few free items, and reminded me of his offer should things not work out with my man. I thanked him, wished him well, and darted out of the door. What a flirt!
And if you are wondering how the pasta turned out - yummy delicious! He did a great job. Would definitely go back, just not when he’s there.