FEELING

Rejected. Every time. It is my fault. I know this is the case, but always expect/hope/pray it will be different each time. Yep, I am insane. And you are…

That’s how you know you love someone, I guess. When you can’t experience anything without wishing the other person were there to see it, too.

FELT

Truth.  This has been my life for two years.  I’ve done some exciting things, always wishing that one special person was experiencing it with me.  

Deep sigh.

(Source: larmoyante)

53,131 notes

FLASH
I dreamed I was with my children.  Holding a baby, while the other played.
My managers mother-in-law recently passed, and she and her husband now regret so many things they haven’t done, including starting a family so their kids could meet their grandmother.  What are we waiting for?
I’m researching schools now and taking the tests to further my career.  Thinking of how much time I let pass just thinking.  Not doing.  We have to fail to live and succeed.  What was I waiting for?
Maybe it’s time to try another city.  I love LA, but I can always come back to it.  I’ve wanted to live abroad.  Maybe it’s time.  I don’t want to wake up tomorrow, and I didn’t try.  What am I waiting for?

FLASH

I dreamed I was with my children.  Holding a baby, while the other played.

My managers mother-in-law recently passed, and she and her husband now regret so many things they haven’t done, including starting a family so their kids could meet their grandmother.  What are we waiting for?

I’m researching schools now and taking the tests to further my career.  Thinking of how much time I let pass just thinking.  Not doing.  We have to fail to live and succeed.  What was I waiting for?

Maybe it’s time to try another city.  I love LA, but I can always come back to it.  I’ve wanted to live abroad.  Maybe it’s time.  I don’t want to wake up tomorrow, and I didn’t try.  What am I waiting for?

(Source: kendrasmiles4u)

119,475 notes

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.

FUTURE

Are you in?  If not, please move out of the way.  I want my happiness and happy ever after today.

(Source: thedailypozitive)

966 notes

FRIENDLY
No Jennifer.  We live in a society that focuses on and thrives off of selfishness.  
We could blame marketing, but it starts at home.  If we practice and teach our children and families to be caring people who take care of the community, what a different world we would this could and would be.
It hurts people to make eye contact, and say hello.  And these gadgets have made it even easier to avoid human to human interface.  Humanity is disappearing, and some continue to argue in favor of.
The rich stay rich by limiting resources to the poor.  The have versus have-nots.  It’s encouraged.  And in the have-nots world, marketing is aggressive for them to want and spend more, making them poorer and the rich richer.
Unjust.  Sad.  Can’t wait to wake up from this nightmare.

FRIENDLY

No Jennifer.  We live in a society that focuses on and thrives off of selfishness.  

We could blame marketing, but it starts at home.  If we practice and teach our children and families to be caring people who take care of the community, what a different world we would this could and would be.

It hurts people to make eye contact, and say hello.  And these gadgets have made it even easier to avoid human to human interface.  Humanity is disappearing, and some continue to argue in favor of.

The rich stay rich by limiting resources to the poor.  The have versus have-nots.  It’s encouraged.  And in the have-nots world, marketing is aggressive for them to want and spend more, making them poorer and the rich richer.

Unjust.  Sad.  Can’t wait to wake up from this nightmare.

373,347 notes

Jimmy Fallon can do no wrong! I love, love this video. So funny.

And he challenged his fans to make it a hit song, and it is! It’s been playing on the radio and climbing the charts. I mean, it is catchy and cute.

FUMIGATE

One of my neighbors decided to spray the exterior of the building with bug repellent.  Seems like a nice gesture, right?

Well, for those who have followed this blog for a while, it was the neighbor that we try to avoid.  The habitual liar and courtyard stalker.

Without getting approval, he decided he would spray the grounds today.  He hooked the repellent bottle up to our water hose, and went to town on the building.  Hopefully it was not on purpose, but he sprayed into so many neighbors open windows.

I was at the movies while he was fumigating.  Upon my return, he was talking to another neighbor.   I said hello, and tried to hurry past.  In his true nature, he thought of something quick to say to get me to talk to him.  ”I’m sorry if I sprayed in your house.  I’m trying to spray the entire grounds so we can all be bug free.”

I assured him I wouldn’t know if he did because I wasn’t there; but now wondered if he had sprayed in anybody’s house to get their attention.  I could hear him the rest of the evening stopping every neighbor with the same line.  He wanted to make sure everyone knew he was doing this, which no one asked him to do.  And honestly, no one needed it.

We had some ants, but it was due to the drought.  I put up a barrier around my house, and haven’t seen them in a long time.  He sprayed behind the house too, so we could literally hear him all night.  He was not quiet about it at all.

Thank you sir, but really?!?!?!

FOUND

Towards the end of our late evening walk, we saw a dog wandering in the street. It ran on the sidewalk very focused, but turned to look at Gigi, and let out a weird noise. Wasn’t quite a bark. I called for it, but it paid me no attention. So we continued home in our courtyard.

Once inside, I fed the dogs, switched to my house slippers, and was ready to relax. I heard a weird noise outside, but paid it no mind. So much natural street music on our block. I sat down in the theatre chair and reclined…and there was a knock at the door. My neighbor Judith.

She led me outside and showed me the dog and pointed at the gate. There was the same dog I had just seen. She said that when she walked up, he was trying to crawl under the gate but got stuck. I laughed so hard. This dog is so round and plump; and that now explains the weird noise I heard.

We let the dog in. It’s wearing no tags or a collar or anything. Doesn’t really respond to people. We tried giving it several commands. No response. Finally I’m able to grab, and put it on a leash. And yes, I brought it home.

This dog followed me everywhere in the house, and was restless. After a few hours, it finally calmed and laid down. Thankful because it was hard eating dinner with it staring at and trying to sit under me to catch food. It’s a medium-sized dog, with an extra large dog stomach. I had to say “no” five million times, but that dog could care less. I posted it’s pic on Craigslist, hoping someone would respond.

Overnight was almost a success, until I was awakened from my slumber by the smell of poo. Yep. Right by my bedroom door. Cleaned it up, and back to bed I went. When it was actually time to get up and we went downstairs, it pooped again in my dining room, right in front of me. I screamed “no!” It just looked at me.

We made it outside, andwalked for an hour. It never peed. As soon as we got back in the house, it ran upstairs and peed by my bedroom door. Geez! I’m doing you a favor. Jerk.

Finally it’s time to go to work, and I’m ready to drop it off at the shelter. I look up the shelter online. Once to confirm the address; but still arrived and found a “we moved” sign on the door. Drove to the new location 20 minutes away, and was welcomed by three men.

Good news: the dog was chipped! So they called the family, but no answer or voicemail. The funny news - and why the dog never responded to us: the family is Korean, and the dog’s name is Byoudnh. It didn’t speak English! Didn’t understand us one bit. Bless it’s heart.

I had to go to work, but I pray the family has picked him up by now. Guy says in 10 days they will put him up for adoption, and then he has 2 weeks. Heartbreaking. I wish I had/probably best I don’t have a yard.

FRIVOLOUS

So that’s your new excuse? I’m so confused. It seems so petty, and made up. You can’t be serious?

Ha. Just when I thought it was about me.

FRAGILE

I’m on edge. The smallest thing makes my eyes water. I’m holding on as much as I can.

Dealing with what I know and the unknown. But doesn’t change the hurt.

I just want to…not worry. Be held.